Basketball applies to parenting! With one child and two parents, the adults can double-team the child, or at least eat and sleep in shifts. Speaking from experience, the transition to two children is a huge change! Now the adults have to switch to man-to-man defense instead. Eating and sleeping may suffer. I’m sure three children rocks the boat again, as you shift to a desperate, out-numbered (but you’ve still got the size advantage, at least for the early years) zone defense.
Too much fun! Create your South Park avatar! Or Simpsonize yourself! Or (trivia) use the online X-Face converter.
I got a phone call for a jump start, and said Argh, I can do that if you’ve got the cables. I used to carry jumper cables, but I haven’t needed them in so long that I’d rather have the storage space! I try to avoid the macho behavior of thinking I can do everything myself, but I’ve had a lot of experience with jump starting: my husband had a 1983 Ferrari Mondial for several years.
Now we get to the first embarrassing part. I’ve only had this station wagon for a few months, and I didn’t see the hood release inside the cab. I pulled out the owners manual to discover that the release handle was exactly where I thought it was (same place as the older wagon), but more recessed so the handle was hidden. What, hood release handles are unattractive? So I popped the hood.
Then I discovered the second, far more embarrassing fact. Where’s the battery? (On the Ferrari, you had to remove the front right tire to replace the battery! Creative.) So I went back to the manual and discovered the section on jump starting. There’s a positive post under a flap that I’m supposed to use! I still don’t know where the battery is, but at least I now know how to jump start in this station wagon.
I’m just embarrassed that I had to read my car owners manual to learn how to jump start!
The most important jump start advice I can give is to remember that negative can never hurt you (sticks and stones …). First of all, keep the four ends from touching because you don’t want to see the sparks from that short circuit! For negative/ground, you can also use any clean metal connection to the engine because the metal parts of the engine should all be at the same potential. [BEFORE] When connecting two cars, hook up the boosting car first because it has power but without a complete circuit, it can’t hurt you. Then hook up the other car, positive first, because negative can never hurt and when you make the fourth and final connection, you have a complete circuit that could hurt you. [DURING] If the jump start is just barely but not quite working, depress the accelerator pedal in the boosting car to rev up the alternator to supply more current. [AFTER] Disconnect the two cars in the reverse of the hook-up. Remove the negative connection on the car you just jumped first because negative can never hurt you. Then, keeping the ends separate, disconnect its positive terminal, and move on to the boosting car for the negative then positive disconnections.
Honestly, I thought I knew how to jump start without using the manual …
I didn’t think Karston would learn that Mr. Wood was trouble until he was teenager or older. He woke up crying twice last night (yawn), so we changed his diaper to avoid a diaper leak since that’s what crying usually means now. Both times I noticed that Mr. Wood had visited him recently, so he was pointing up (high chance of a leak) instead of down (only overflow leaks). So I think Karston knows Mr. Wood causes diaper leaks, and he knows he’s too old for malfunctions like that, so he let us know.
The Classic Slinky TV Commercial
For years, I’ve been searching for a classic Slinky TV commercial. I feel like the Internet has finally grown up, because this time, I found it!!! In fact, what’s even more amazing, I found several versions in several places! Of course there’s YouTube, but there’s even the Slinky company itself!
After watching, I had to ask myself why I had been searching. Sometimes I forget why I’m climbing that mountain. However, this time I remembered why. I used to watch Ren & Stimpy with my friend Dan. That show was a real trailblazer in cartoon grossness! When we first watched the Tooth Beaver episode, Dan went to the bathroom to retch because it was just that gross. I was pretty disgusted too, but I was too busy laughing at him retching to have stomach problems of my own. Anyway, one day Dan called me out of the blue to ask if I knew where The Log Song came from. I said, Duh, Ren & Stimpy. I was told the correct answer was that The Log Song was ripping off The Slinky Song. We didn’t have a TV most of the time that I was growing up, so I grew up on books. And Dan’s guess was correct: I had never seen the Slinky commercial on TV, and I had never heard the jingle. The closest Dan could find for me years ago was another Slinky knock-off (R rated, though); it was pretty funny, but I wanted to see the original. And now, finally, I have!
FunnyDecember 7, 2006 2:46 pm
You Can Find Anything On The Web
Even LEGO ice cubes. Play fast, they’re melting!
You know you’re driving too slow when … a diesel passes you on the right and never makes it up to the speed limit. And I was driving an old diesel with power issues until the turbo waste gate hose gets replaced! At least it doesn’t smoke.
It’s a pretty day this afternoon, and we won’t have many more pretty days before we have to push through several months of unmitigated winter. So we ate lunch outside on the deck! Lunch was a bit late, which makes me gassy. Today it made me really gassy. But you know, I was outside, so I decided to be comfortable. After three impressively loud farts in a row, my 16-month-old toddler with very few words in his repertoire looked at me and said Oh wow. Needless to say, we cracked up! Yeah, he’s probably right.
FunnyJune 6, 2006 3:35 pm
You Can Find Anything On The Web
Well, I don’t think I need chicken clothes, but maybe someone else does!
